Thursday, April 4, 2013

How to Install Husband 1.0

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I received this from a friend of mine... I so wish I knew who to contribute this to, as it is hysterical.


Subject: INSTALLING A HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

--------------------------------------------------

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the FartingandSnoringLoudlyBeta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck ,
Tech Support

.

5 comments:

Lynsey @MoscatoMom said...

BAHAHAHAHA HYSTERICAL!

Although my Boyfriend 5.0 has a few of those Husband 1.0 properties... scary.

<3 you!

Kayla @ TheEclecticElement said...

Hehe! Oh man, that's a good one ^.^

Tracy Cotton Pickin Cute said...

That's hilarious Lorie!!!!! Still laughing.

Have a great weekend...Hugs… Tracy@CottonPickinCute

Marie Moody said...

Hello my friend! Oh I surely remember this one. LOL I got it a long time ago in an e-mail! Hope all is well with you! Have a great weekend.! HUGS MARIE

Lucinda said...

Haha! Very clever. :o) I hope you're having a lovely spring, Lorie!

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