Friday, July 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Sue - I Miss You So Much!

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Today would have been my best friend in the whole world's birthday, but she passed away in 2009 and I miss her more than words can say. She was always there for me when I needed her and vice-verse. She was the maid-of-honor in my wedding to Bill and I was the maid-of-honor in her wedding.



From my Wedding 1997


As a tribute to Sue, I'd like to rerun a post I wrote shortly after she died:

Have you ever had a friend that you knew would always be there when you needed her no matter what? Well I have... Let me tell you about my best friend Sue.....

Sue and I have been best friends for 30 years!! I used to babysit her little kids when I was in my late teens. Sue got married the first time when she was WAY too young and then got divorced young from an abusive husband. I envied her strength in her ability to do that. She has always amazed me in her ability to pick herself up and carry on, despite the horrible things thrown at her.

She then met her second husband and had two more children and I got married and had two children. We were always there for each other, like during the births of each others' children,usually the first ones there after the babies were born (sometimes before the rest of the family) and the first one there if there was a question or when something exciting happened.

Then whenever there was a problem, all there had to be was a phone call, there didn't even have to be more than the voice of the other one saying ones name. She would say, "Lorie" or I would say, "Sue." The next words out of the other persons mouth would be, "I'll be right there!" And we would, for as long as was needed. We were there for each other's divorce, which were actually within 6 months of each others -- funny how that works, but we were in it together and we survived together.

Now it was her kids' turn to babysit my kids, so I could get back on my feet, again, with Sue's help, and learn to love again. Mend my destroyed heart and soul... and I did. I found Bill and Sue was right there to stand beside me as Bill and I exchanged vows and pledged to be man and wife. I was there standing beside Sue as she and Dennis did the same (unfortunately she wasn't as lucky with Dennis as I was with Bill). I was there, though, with the promise to smack her up side the head if she EVER decided to get married again!!

When I moved to Florida, Sue was there on that last day as I packed up my house and drove out of the driveway -- both of us with tears in our eyes. We continued to call, write, send cards and emails. It didn't happen as much as it should have, but we always were in touch. I was there when her mom died, and she called me immediately when my dad passed. Every birthday, hers in July and mine in December, we passed along our "Friendship Ball", a sterling silver ornament that has a hinge that we would wrap up in this little blue bag - that was falling apart, being held together by tape - that we had put inside a small trinket of our friendship. The important part was the ball, which would be hung up in a special place of honor in our house during the 6 months while in our possession. It was a wonderful thing we shared.

Then 3 months ago, the unthinkable happened.... I got a phone call from Sue's middle daughter, Kim. I knew that couldn't be good! Sue was in the hospital.... not doing well at all, she had been hiding her sickness from me, I had just gotten a card from her in March for my wedding anniversary with no word that she wasn't feeling well (WTF). She had kidney cancer that had traveled to her lungs (already had TWO courses of chemo - never told me!!) and it had now metastasized and she was in heart failure..... OH GOD..... they weren't giving her much time...... OH NO, I can't handle this..... she probably doesn't have more than a few days, maybe a week..... I'm beginning to hyperventilate...... She just wanted me to know that she loves me and always will........

O.K..... now I have to stay calm and let Kim know that it is alright, I'm alright, and I love them all -- they are my family. But, there is no way that I can make it up to Connecticut, I've had spinal surgery 6 weeks ago and cannot fly. Now, I feel even worse..... my best friend is dying and I cannot get to see her before it happens and wont make it to the funeral. Kim assures me that they all understand and that she will let Sue know how I feel and tell her that I love her (when did Kim become a grown-up?). I know in my heart that she knows -- she feels it as deeply as I do, and neither one of us will ever forget everything we have been through, and all the wonderful things we have done and the fun we have shared!!

Three days later, I get another call from Kim.... I begin to cry as I am answering the phone..... I feel it before I can say "hello"..... Sue is gone, from this world, but NEVER from my heart!!!

Today is Sue's birthday..... So Sue..... Happy Birthday.... I love you and I miss you, and I will never forget you!!!


2000 - Sue's Nursing School Graduation Party

I hope you are all bless with that kind of friendship in your lives. It is something that is rare and wonderful and I will never regret one moment of it.

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6 comments:

Shop with Me Mama said...

HUGS. What a beautiful tribute to your dear friend Sue!!!

Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

Lorie, I'm so sorry for the loss of such a wonderful friend. It is a rare thing to find a friendship that can survive what life throws at us.

I consider myself blessed to call you a friend, you are such a special amazing lady!!!

anonynoose said...

You know what Lorie? Cancer SUCKS!

This is such a sad story of a beautiful friendship. I really felt your anxiety as you describe your phone call from Kim...you made me cry. Thanks for sharing this.

Happy belated birthday Sue!

Xmas Dolly said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your dear friend! You too look like you got in a lot of trouble together too, but had lots of fun. Remember she's still here in your heart! Hugs my friend, and my shoulder is not that far away!

~ Noelle said...

happy birthday sue!!!!!!!!
so sorry for your loss...
she must have been wonderful!

Anonymous said...

That is a beautiful tribute to your dear friend.
I have a heavy heart as I imagine how hard the last few days have been as this anniversary approaches. She must have been amazing for you to love her so much.
Maria

ree026@optonline.net

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