Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Sue - I Miss You

Have you ever had a friend that you knew would always be there when you needed her no matter what? Well I have... Let me tell you about my best friend Sue.....

Sue and I have been best friends for 30 years!! I used to babysit her little kids when I was in my late teens. Sue got married the first time when she was WAY too young and then got divorced young from an abusive husband. I envied her strength in her ability to do that. She has always amazed me in her ability to pick herself up and carry on, despite the horrible things thrown at her.

She then met her second husband and had two more children and I got married and had two children. We were always there for each other, like during the births of each others' children,usually the first ones there after the babies were born (sometimes before the rest of the family) and the first one there if there was a question or when something exciting happened.

Then whenever there was a problem, all there had to be was a phone call, there didn't even have to be more than the voice of the other one saying ones name. She would say, "Lorie" or I would say, "Sue." The next words out of the other persons mouth would be, "I'll be right there!" And we would, for as long as was needed. We were there for each other's divorce, which were actually within 6 months of each others -- funny how that works, but we were in it together and we survived together.

Now it was her kids' turn to babysit my kids, so I could get back on my feet, again, with Sue's help, and learn to love again. Mend my destroyed heart and soul... and I did. I found Bill and Sue was right there to stand beside me as Bill and I exchanged vows and pledged to be man and wife. I was there standing beside Sue as she and Dennis did the same (unfortunately she wasn't as lucky with Dennis as I was with Bill). I was there, though, with the promise to smack her up side the head if she EVER decided to get married again!!

When I moved to Florida, Sue was there on that last day as I packed up my house and drove out of the driveway -- both of us with tears in our eyes. We continued to call, write, send cards and emails. It didn't happen as much as it should have, but we always were in touch. I was there when her mom died, and she called me immediately when my dad passed. Every birthday, hers in July and mine in December, we passed along our "Friendship Ball", a sterling silver ornament that has a hinge that we would wrap up in this little blue bag - that was falling apart, being held together by tape - that we had put inside a small trinket of our friendship. The important part was the ball, which would be hung up in a special place of honor in our house during the 6 months while in our possession. It was a wonderful thing we shared.

Then 3 months ago, the unthinkable happened.... I got a phone call from Sue's middle daughter, Kim. I knew that couldn't be good! Sue was in the hospital.... not doing well at all, she had been hiding her sickness from me, I had just gotten a card from her in March for my wedding anniversary with no word that she wasn't feeling well (WTF). She had kidney cancer that had traveled to her lungs (already had TWO courses of chemo - never told me!!) and it had now metastasized and she was in heart failure..... OH GOD..... they weren't giving her much time...... OH NO, I can't handle this..... she probably doesn't have more than a few days, maybe a week..... I'm beginning to hyperventilate...... She just wanted me to know that she loves me and always will........

O.K..... now I have to stay calm and let Kim know that it is alright, I'm alright, and I love them all -- they are my family. But, there is no way that I can make it up to Connecticut, I've had spinal surgery 6 weeks ago and cannot fly. Now, I feel even worse..... my best friend is dying and I cannot get to see her before it happens and wont make it to the funeral. Kim assures me that they all understand and that she will let Sue know how I feel and tell her that I love her (when did Kim become a grown-up?). I know in my heart that she knows -- she feels it as deeply as I do, and neither one of us will ever forget everything we have been through, and all the wonderful things we have done and the fun we have shared!!

Three days later, I get another call from Kim.... I begin to cry as I am answering the phone..... I feel it before I can say "hello"..... Sue is gone, from this world, but NEVER from my heart!!!

Today is Sue's birthday..... So Sue..... Happy Birthday.... I love you and I miss you, and I will never forget you!!!


Unknown said...

There really aren't words...I am so sorry for your loss. It is wonderful that you had such a wonderful friend though--that is something to cherish and celebrate.

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry for your loss. I have one really close girlfriend and I can't imagine how I'd feel if I found out something was wrong with her. You have some wonderful memories I'm sure and those are definitely something to hold on to.

Felicia said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. I have a couple of friends that are close to me.. like sisters... and it is completely unthinkable to loose them. It is so great to know that you had such a wonderful and true friend! What a blessing!

Simply Being Mommy said...

I am so sorry Lorie! {Big Hugs}

Dana said...

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Sarah said...

Sue sounds like an amazing friend, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Heather said...

wow. she sounds like the kind of friend everyone should have.

visiting from SITs today for sharefest.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

What a beautiful post and such a dear friend. I am so sorry.

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