Have You Ever Wondered..... Plus a Few Oxymorons

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1. Is it good if a vacuum really SUCKS?????

2. Why is the third hand on a watch/clock called a SECOND hand? 
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is "out of whack" - what IS a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats PUSH their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for SITTING?

11. Why is it called "after DARK" when it really is "after LIGHT?"

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected EXPECTED?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean the opposite?

15. Why is "phonics" NOT spelled the way it sounds? (That one always confused me.)

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to PAY you to do it.

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is BLIND, why is lingerie so popular? (I laughed aloud at this one.)

19. If you are cross-eyed AND have dyslexia, can you read correctly? (No disrespect intended.)

20. Why is BRA singular and PANTIES plural? (I guess it works if you're a Kardashian)

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dying or dead?

22. Why do we put suits in GARMENT bags, and garments in SUITCASES?

23. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? We are just clean when we use them.

25. Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do we call it a television SET when it is only ONE unit?

27. Christmas is such a strange holiday... what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your sock?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway?



These are just some of the things I wonder about when I cannot sleep at night.  Are there things like this that fill your mind? Or am I the only one who has lost her mind with idiosyncrasies? Let me know in your comments, so I have some new things to put in my brain.  =)

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Philosophy of Ambiguity

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1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

2. One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If a man evolves from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

6. I went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the whole purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do Forest Rangers go to “get away from it all”?

12. What do you do when you see and endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get to deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists, they don’t talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a “civil” war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

27. If you eat both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an “s” in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of assertoids?
 

31. Why is it called “tourist season” if you can’t shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin and oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?

34. Can an Atheist get insurance against acts of god?

Makes you think, doesn't it???

Our Week in Random Photos

I thought I'd share with you what we've been up to lately through some random photographs that I've taken.

These are my favorite sandals that I wear every day...

Can you tell????

{Please ignore the desperately in need of a pedicure toes!}

This butterfly we ran into during one of our walks... I have never seen one like it before, nor have I seen one since. I love the green color and the fuzzy white face.

Here is another one of my grasshopper friends, he posed for me looking straight at me. I didn't use my zoom for this one, just the regular lens... I was this close to him - amazing.

My son Alexander's girlfriend Rachel and his roommate Tom came down to Florida with Rachel's best friend Devon (who works seasonally for Disney World) for a visit and Bill & I were able to have lunch with them.  It was really great to see them, I only wish Alexander were able to come down, too, but he couldn't get the time off from work.  Alex hopes to get some time off during the fall or around my birthday.  It might even be possible to have BOTH boys down here at the same time if Nikolaus gets home from Afghanistan around October like he is supposed to. Yippee!!!

Tom & Rachel

Bill, me & Rachel

We saw this man and his daughter fishing in downtown Celebration at the lake and they caught quite a few little fish with the bread they were using for bait.  She was using this adorable little pink fishing pole and got so excited every time she caught something.  We stood there and watched them for about 20 minutes.

This is the fountain we have in downtown Celebration... the children LOVE to play in it, you can always hear my favorite sound in the whole world around here: the sound of children's laughter.  Nano was exploring and got caught by one of the sprays... poor little guy.

Just another one of our critters we met on our walk.  Of course this was right before Lady Mia ran after him and he flew away.  Mia is getting a little annoyed with the birds and ducks because they can swim and fly and she can't.  :-)

Nano and Lady Mia making a new friend... they just went up to this butterfly who sat their as they sniffed him.  They were so gentle with it I was totally amazed.  Then it just flew away and they watched it go.  I am always in awe at how they react with different kinds of animals, how did they know to be so gentle with this beautiful creature?

We ran out of peanuts on this morning and this little guy was asking us for one and didn't quite understand why he couldn't have one when I was explaining to him that he had to wait until the next day.  Isn't he just the cutest little guy?  (Sorry for the fuzzy pic - he was moving towards me.)

Just wanted to include one of me and Bill during one of our walks - this is with our new iPhone4... it has the coolest feature, in that you can take self-portraits because there is a front & back camera. LOVE it!  The front and back camera is also used for "FaceTime" phone calls, which I'm sure most of you have seen a commercial for... which, BTW, always makes me cry.  It is like a Dick Trace watch phone call where you can see the person on video that you are talking to.  We had our first FaceTime call with my step-son, DIL and grandson the other day and it was FANTASTIC!!  I hadn't seen my grandson in 2 1/2 years so it was SO good to see him.  He showed me all his new toys and even sang me a song, I was such a happy grandmother!!

This last one is my favorite photo of the week... With the heat that we have been having, I have given my little babies a couple of cool baths after their walks to cool them down and they really love them.  They looked so cute when they were done, I just had to take their picture.  Here are my little drowned babies after their bath...  Aren't they so cute???? I have even made it my wallpaper on my laptop and my iPhone4.

Well, I hope you all had a fabulous week and are managing to stay cool in this heat - be careful all of you up in New England during this heat wave.  Drink plenty of water and stay cool.  HUGS!!!

Until next time..... Lorie

Random Thoughts

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Here are some thoughts that have just come into my head over the last couple of weeks, they are really of no special meaning and may amuse some of you or may have no affect on any of you. They are just stuff that came to me..... enjoy:

• We can go an entire month between putting gas (actually diesel) into our VW Bug. Does that mean we are frugal or have no social life?

• Bill and I went to the Adult Active Community where we are building our new house for a social event last weekend - just dessert, coffee and some drinks - and they had a swing band. It was a great band and a few couples were dancing, I leaned over to Bill and said, "Gee, I really wish you could dance." He replied to me, "Gee, I really wish you could WALK." Touche'... He has a great way of making me laugh.

• I have never seen a man so happy to get a new vacuum.
• Bill brought me a toasted bagel the other day because he thought I might be hungry. I told him that was just so sweet, he said he had to live up to all that stuff I was writing about him on the blog.

• Is it bad that Bill and I ate an entire loaf of fresh, warm French bread that we brought home from the French bakery/bistro - standing at the kitchen peninsula at 4:00 in the afternoon? It was supposed to be for dinner... Oops!

• Bill and I can never seem to be the same temperature at the same time: when he is cold, I am hot... I keep having these hot flashes and he has these freezing hands. I told him I can't help it I have menopause... his reply: "I must have Santa Claus!"

• I love IM-ing my hubby who is just down the hall from me... he is in his office and I am in the bedroom. I send him messages like, "I love you" and he sends back, "I love you, more." We can get really silly! This morning I sneezed three times... I got an IM that said: "God bless you!"

That's it... just some silly stuff that I've been thinking about... hope you all have a great day!

Until next time..... Lorie